The Dean says 'Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for.' But then I said 'Excuse me but I wasn't finished. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA.' Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down 'No' near the application check marks. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.ДЄs I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me 'Why should you be a good candidate for this school?' They seemed bored but I replied 'Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick.

Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl. How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you.

Reddit crusaders of light